I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
