My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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