I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
