Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
home. puking in laundry basket.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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