Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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