Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Found your dick twin last night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
