guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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