You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
now i know why i became what i already was.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
