I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
