Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
