just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
