you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
