i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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