it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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