he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
