i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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