..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
