AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
