quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
