if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
