i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
