I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
