Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
