who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
