erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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