New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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