Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
