I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
