I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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