Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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