Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
