Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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