I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
