I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
