So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
