Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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