I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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