You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
