Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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