did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
