I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's shark week go big or go home
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
