I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
