were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
