She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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