So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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