I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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