i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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