so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
