Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
