I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
