that's an acceptable place to lick
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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