The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
