he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize