Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
