i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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