PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
