i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize