so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize