Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
